The real secret to success can't be found via an MBA, the latest business bestseller, or the hottest management seminar. It's a necessity we often take for granted, though few of us have truly mastered it: the art of conversation.

"The people who succeed will be the ones who can talk to other people," asserts Susan RoAne, author of "What Do I Say Next? Talking Your Way to Business and Social Success" (Warner Books, 1999, www.susanroane.com).

Faced with a new acquaintance, or a roomful of business contacts, even the most motivated of us may find ourselves at a loss, completely unable to think of a thing to say. While it can be difficult to overcome our networking anxieties, it's not impossible, says RoAne, a networking expert and keynote speaker who has given presentations to numerous Fortune 500 companies and is a frequent guest on the CNN Financial Network.

RoAne, who spoke by phone from her San Francisco office, started off in a profession that demands good verbal skills: school teaching. Twenty years ago, California's massive teacher layoffs and her natural flair for conversation lead her to writing and speaking. Her mission is to help people with "schmoozing" so that it's artful, friendly, and most of all, comfortable. Because when it comes to business, she says that "if you're not talking to people, you're missing opportunities."

To help you respond to that universal quandary of "what do I say next," and gain confidence in any setting, RoAne offers the following conversational and networking tips:

Keep in mind that you're not alone. "The first thing to remember is that 88 percent of people self-identify as 'shy,'" says RoAne.

Be prepared. Before attending a networking event, have some ideas of what you'll talk about. RoAne recommends an easy way to come up with conversational gambits: check the newspaper to track current events and keep up with popular culture. She emphasizes that when you pay attention to your community and the world at large, you'll always have interesting topics to bring up.

Remember that all business is based on listening. While knowing what to say is important, good listening is crucial. "The best leaders are great conversationalists," RoAne says. "They know how to take the focus off themselves, and listen with their eyes. They're really 'in the moment' with the other person."

Always extend your hand and say your name. "Ninety percent of people will respond with a handshake and say their name back," she reports.

"Bring who you are to what you do." You can't go wrong expressing a sincere interest in others. RoAne dismisses canned strategies for asking people questions, or techniques for "mirroring." "It's mostly men that try to quantify networking," she says. "You can't create a qualitative system for something that's an art." She also points out that even in business settings, people do not want to be treated as your "contact."

Do "work" a room, but don't overwork it. RoAne stresses that there's a fine line between the two; when you can tell someone's working the room, they're actually overdoing it. The idea is to establish rapport with people, not get "face time" with as many of them as possible.

Be aware of the effects of technology on your social skills. Many of us have already switched from the telephone to e-mail for conducting day-to-day business. Still others have no compunction about opening up to strangers online, while becoming less attentive to real-life relationships. "We're becoming so technically adept, but the technical part isn't helping us," RoAne says. As a result of all this technology, she adds, we risk losing our face-to-face interaction skills. To keep those skills fresh, maintain a regular round of social commitments, even when you'd much rather stay at home.

Remember the "six degrees of separation" factor. RoAne is a firm believer in what she calls the "you never know" school of marketing. Early in her career, she contacted a radio show to do an interview, and the host turned out to be the son of a teacher she had substituted for years ago. "When you meet someone, you never know who they know," she says. "It's not six degrees of separation, it's two-and-a-half."

Don't neglect your "small talk" skills. RoAne believes it's as much of an art as any "meaningful" discussion. "Some people look down on small talk as insignificant, or a waste of time," she said. "But I've never heard anyone badmouth small talk who was good at it."